The new chapter

This is me manifesting the life that I have always envisioned.

I am happy, I wake up every morning with a smile on my face and a heart that is full. I am grateful and blessed for what I have and for what I have achieved in life so far. It is amazing how life turns out, how events all add up and make sense in the end. For all the people that I met along the way, I can truly say that I do not regret meeting anyone. For all the heartbreaks and challenges that I once thought would end my life, I am thankful for them. For all the ones who said that I will not make it, I am proud that I did not take your words to heart.

Life is as I had envisioned in my dreams to be. I wake up in the city that is full of love and laughter. I wake next to the man of my dreams, my number one supporter and lover. My friends have always been there since day 1 and continue to be my best supporters and the all genuinely love me for who I am. There is not a single day that goes by where I am not grateful for where I am or who I am. I would not change the world to be someone else.

My career is progressing and I love it, everyday I am helping people and this rewarding feeling that I get after each day is just simply amazing. I have this feeling inside of me that just keeps telling me that I have done the right thing and that my path is leading me to a better place each day. I am so grateful that I decided to make that leap of faith, to trust in the process and to not give up on this dream of living an amazing life. The life that I have always wanted.

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The one

You understand me, you love me for who I am, you are tall, handsome and you have a smile that can brighten up my day. You make me laugh because you want to see me smile and you understand me so well. You can finish off my sentences and I also make you laugh. You are kind hearted and sweet. You always think of me when you make decisions. You express how I make you feel and you ask me how I feel. You reassure me and you make me feel so safe. You are fun to be with and you show me your lame side that you hide from others. I love you for that. You know how to look after yourself, you know how to dress well and you are so charming. You are a gentleman, you open my doors and make sure I am warm. You shake peoples hand when you meet them and you introduce yourself to all my friends and family in a well respected manner. You are extremely proud to introduce me as your girlfriend to your friends and family. I enjoy every minute spent with you, even if we are not doing anything fun. Your presence gives me butterflies, yet I feel safe and loved. You are everything that I want and everything that makes me feel glad to be alive.

All the pain comes rushing back

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Have you ever let someone go while still being madly in love with them?

I have and I can tell you that you will never forget the feeling that it came with.

Even though you knew it was the right thing to do, it still hurts.

At the moment you decide to separate from them, you will feel this pain in your heart that you’ve never felt before.

The heart feels as if its slowly dying, as if it’s been stabbed by a knife hundreds of times

Your life feels like its shattered into pieces

You feel like you have lost all that’s inside of you

and the worst part is

even years after trying to forget them, even when you think you have forgotten them.. all it takes is a glimpse of their face again and everything including all the memories and pain that they have left with you all comes rushing back. Every pain that you have tried so hard to cover up all comes creeping back to torture you, even worse, this time it hurts even more. It hurts because you realise that you are still madly in love with them, yet they’ve moved on with someone else.

 

Look within yourself

The warmth I needed was always there

Not buried within anyone

Not given by anything

But deep within myself

How easy it is to lose oneself

In this busy world

But how easy is it to find comfort in yourself

All you need is to take some time to feel it

Don’t remind me

Don’t remind me of how your smile could brighten my day

Don’t remind me of how your bed sheets smelt and how your eyes were the reason why I lost myself

Instead, remind me of how much my heart hurt when you left without a sound.

Remind me of why I couldn’t stay any longer

Remind me of why I deserve more

Remind me that this empty space is reserved for someone who doesn’t remind me of you.

I will do better than you.

Love yourself

Love yourself because you are beautiful

Love yourself because no one told you to

Love yourself because it is all that you have

Love yourself because there is too much hate in this world

Love yourself until your heart flutters with all the love that you have given to it

Whatever you do, just remember to love yourself

She is flourishing

She has changed

She is awake now

She feels more now

She is exploring cities that she has never seen before

She is trying new things that she’s never thought of before

She is appreciating all the little things in life

She is blossoming

She is still finding her place on this earth

But, she is living.

Sick of this fake love

I’m sick of all the small talk

And the nights spent wasting on someone who doesn’t stay.

I’m sick of all the promises

And how they are always made by those who lie.

I’m sick of dealing with other’s problems

And how they never cared about mine.

I’m sick of always being the strong one

And how hard it can be sometimes.

But most of all, I’m sick of all this fake love

And now it’s time to move on to something real.

Sitting under the stars

I’m sitting under the stars alone

I get this feeling in my heart,

Tears just want to run down my face

I let them run down and the worst thing is I don’t even know why I get this feeling inside of me

Then suddenly I look at the stars again and I realise how small I am and maybe that’s why it hurts.

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