I still want you

You’re not who I fell in love with anymore, but I still want you.

You’re no longer as caring and eager to see me anymore, but I still want you.

You’re not the guy I thought you were, but I still want you.

I know you’re not good for me, but I still want you.

It hurts my heart, because you’re not who I fell in love with..but I still want you.

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The real meaning of change

Change can be a scary thing, especially when you are so comfortable and used to what you do or have. But change is the only thing that will let you grow and bring out the real meaning of life. Without change, you will be stagnated. Without change, that dream that you keep in the back of your mind will only ever be a dream. Without change, you will feel safe but you will not be satisfied. Without change, you will not be able to change your current self or your current life.

Change is a terrifying thing for many people, but it is the catalyst to new beginnings, new opportunities and to potentially satisfying your ultimate dream life. So don’t fear change, step out of your comfort zone and get comfortable with change.

Fear is holding you back in life

I don’t think people realise how much their fears are holding them back. I mean, neither did I. But if you think about it, most of the things that you wish you did but you didn’t do is most likely because you were scared. You were scared that it wouldn’t turn out right, you were afraid that if you tried you might end up in a position that is worst than where you are right now.

I get it, I totally get it. For the longest time, I’ve settled for less because I was scared I wouldn’t meet someone better, I was scared that I wouldn’t get a better job and I was scared that people would think differently of me if I were to do what I wanted to. But do you know where that lead me? one thing is, it definitely didn’t lead me to happiness. Instead, it lead me to a life where I kept questioning ‘what if?’ and ‘if only’. These are questions that arise because you regret the things you didn’t do when you could of and the main culprit of this all is because of this feeling of being scared and afraid.

I’m telling you this now because it has honestly changed my life for the better. Don’t ever be scared to do what you want, if it means that much to you then do it. Do it without any hesitation and don’t ever let the feeling of ‘fear’ go anywhere near you. Why? because life is simply too short to regret anything you could’ve done. What’s the harm in failing anyway? Sure, you will be disappointed and upset. But we all fail in life and most of the time we end up better after we fail. This silly thing called ‘fear’ is just holding you back from you potentially achieving anything in life. Just let it go and see where it takes you.

When there is a low, there is always a high

Have you ever felt like everything that could possibly go wrong in life is going wrong? Or it feels like your life is slowly crumbling down on you? We’ll I’ve had this feeling plenty of times and from that I’ve learnt three things.

Firstly, with every low there is almost a guarantee high. If you honestly think that everything is going wrong, then what else could possibly happen? It can only get better from here. So instead of dwelling on what is wrong, focus on how things are going to turn right and observe how things slowly change. You will realise that feeling of ‘low’ will eventually shift in direction.

Secondly, take every low as an opportunity for change. You are feeling this ‘low’ because you don’t like where you are. In fact, you hate it. Then you must change what you are doing, you must do something that you normally don’t. If you want to change the person you are, then you need to be willing to do something you don’t usually do. Step out of your comfort zone, work on yourself and make a positive change. It won’t be easy, but it will bring a change to your life and I promise you it will be worth it.

Lastly, feeling ‘low’ is something that everyone feels in their life. But take it as the universe telling you to move, to change, to improve and to become a better you. If you don’t feel this low, then you will never understand how good a ‘high’ feels. But in order to feel that, you must constantly work on yourself, evaluate why you’re feeling this way and try your best to eliminate anything that causes it.

A ‘low’ is sometimes a blessing in disguise, you just don’t know it yet.

I will never forget your smile

Even though you left me, I will never forget you. I still find pieces of you in others and maybe that’s why I end up falling for them. Maybe that’s why I fell in love with the guy who had a similar smile to yours and maybe that’s why I fell in love with the guy who had the same laugh as yours. After all it was your smile that made me fall for you. It was the way you smiled that made me want to make you happy…and so I tried my hardest to make you to keep that smile of yours..and I guess that’s where I went wrong, because I forgot to smile myself. But even though you left long ago, the sight of your contagious and beautiful smile is still deeply embedded in my mind. I still get the same feeling when I see a smile like yours, it’s a bittersweet feel and a feeling that makes my heart hurt a little more each time.

Oh, my silly heart

My tender heart,

Oh you silly little thing

You opened up again didn’t you?

You’re feeling pain again aren’t you?

You find it hard to breathe sometimes, don’t you?

Oh you silly little thing,

Didn’t anyone ever warn you about this type of pain?

This pain that has no theory to backup

This pain that can not be cured by medicine or a doctor

This pain that feels so deep within you that you start to wonder where it ends

Oh my tender heart

You are so pure

You are so scared

But you are real

And that’s all that matters

Why am I the one who has to suffer?

When someone you love leaves you, they don’t just leave you physically, but they leave you with hurt, pain and suffering. I don’t know if they are also in pain, but all I know is that they leave without any hesitation, and leave you to suffer alone. In my opinion, it is absolute bullshit. I refuse to be the one who suffers long after you’re gone. It’s not fair and it’s not right.

Why am I the one who feels sad that you are gone? why am I the one who misses you? why am I the one who feels lonely? why am I the one who wants you back into my life even though you have done me wrong? and why aren’t you the one to feel all of that?

As much as I know that I am the only one who misses what we had, I still can’t help myself but to feel the pain in my chest. All I can tell myself is to stop feeling all of this, because I know you are doing just fine without me and I know that you have moved on without any hesitation at all. I am the only one suffering from your mistakes, from you leaving me. It’s not fair, but I can’t do much about it..all I can do is keep telling myself that the only one suffering is myself, so just move on.

 

Work on yourself and that’s all you need to do

From all the lows that I have experienced, my final advice and lesson that I have learn’t is to simply never stop working on yourself. In fact, all you should be focusing on every single minute of the day is working on yourself. No body else in this world is going to love or care about you, more than yourself. Even the person who swore that they would do anything for you, most likely wouldn’t. In the end, you are the one who will have the best interest in yourself. So do yourself a favour and never stop working on yourself, for yourself.

What does this mean? It means figuring out what you really want in life, it means writing it down and figuring out a plan to attain it. Once you start to work on yourself and improve who you are, things somehow start falling into place. People will start realising your worth and they will rise to your expectations. Why? because you have set out an example of what you want in others. There is an old saying, ‘you are who you will attract’ and I honestly believe in that completely. If you consciously make an effort to improve yourself and to work hard everyday towards your goals, you will attract likeminded people. Vice versa. You will stop settling for less because you have simply realised your worth.

So no matter what happens in life, no matter if you’re unhappy or happy with yourself. Just keep working on yourself and view it as something that you need to do in order to breathe. In order to succeed in life.

Little do they know

Her smile touched the darkest lights

But little did they know

She was waiting to be touched

To be saved from the darkest of them all

Her smile was all she knew

To cover her broken heart

To mend the stabbing pain

To never lose track of who she wants to be

Because she keeps smiling

And she will keep on smiling

Till the lights are real and the sun is all she can see.

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