Hope is the only thing keeping us going

IMG_7529.jpgHope is the only thing keeping us going

Although I would think of myself as a strong independent woman, in reality, I am not. The amount of times that I have thought of just giving up is actually ridiculous. When life becomes hard or if I encounter any little obstacle I just think of giving up. But keep that in mind, I only ‘think’ of giving up but I never do.

What keeps me going then?
It’s the idea of hope. I am not religious in any way; however, I do believe that there is a superior being that guides us in our everyday lives. We’ll at least I hope there is. The only thing that keeps me going everyday is this idea of hope. The hope that life will get better, the hope that ‘God’ has plans for me and that everything I’m doing now is because I’m supposed to. I mean, doesn’t it just make you feel so much better and more at ease knowing and ‘hoping’ that everything at the end of the day will be just fine. Whenever I think that life is going downhill, I always have this little hope inside of me thinking and believing that everything is only going to be better. So I encourage you all to hope a little more and to give up a little less because life is definitely not easy, but it’s the things you hope for that makes it worth it.

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Are you wasting your valuable time stressing or worrying?

It wasn’t until recently that I discovered how powerful our minds were. The saying that ‘it’s all in your head’ actually holds a lot more meaning than you may think. The way our life is, the way our emotions change and the way we think is all controlled by our mind. Sometimes, wait no..most of the time, events that happen are exaggerated in our minds and we tend to stress over things that usually never happen. It is crazy how different your life can become once you start to understand this and to use it to your advantage. For instance, most of the time before bed I start to worry about things that don’t even exist or start to think of all the ‘what if’ questions. Whenever this happens now, I have to tell myself mentally that none of this will happen and me worrying or wasting my time thinking about it right now is not going to change or impact anything. Instead, I should focus on the present and do more of what will actually impact my life in a positive way. So why not worry less and let whatever happen to occur naturally.

People tend to spend 85% of their time worrying about things that don’t ever end up happening. Now think about how much time you have spent worrying and think about how valuable time in life is. Time is definitely something that cannot be bought with money, because time is everything. Time is your most valuable asset in life, because today is the youngest you will ever be from today and once it’s gone, it’s gone. So, lets all train our minds to live in the present and to alter it so that whenever something negative comes to mind, ask yourself this question, ‘is this worth my valuable time?’

Why him? And what he taught me

Why him?

With so many guys out there, why him though?, Why does it have to be the guy that makes you feel insecure, why does it have to be the guy who makes you question your worth? Why does it have to be the guy who makes you stay up all night waiting for a text or call? Why did you choose this guy over the guy who actually cared about you and made you feel safe? Why can you think logically with everything but not when it comes to him?

This is something that I have struggled with one too many times and the only answer that I have managed to come up with is the fact that the heart is not controlled by our minds. I can keep telling myself a million times that he is not the one for me and that he does not deserve my love, yet, my heart still hurts when I imagine him with another girl.

So what did I do about this?

Personally, I am a big believer of the universe sending signals and living with the idea that everything happens for a reason. Instead of wasting my time on a guy and asking all the ‘why him’ questions, I think of all the things that he and the relationship was able to teach me. The relationship at the time was extremely toxic, the guy would only come into my life when he needed me and did not want to put any effort or commitment into the relationship. It would always be me who would be putting more effort into the relationship and I would always be left questioning what we are. I was so fed up that one day I decided that enough was enough. Thinking about it now, I have no idea what I was doing and why I didn’t leave him straight away. But instead of thinking about it in a negative way, I tried to use this experience as a valuable life lesson.

1.The relationship taught me that I was never in love with the person and instead, I was in love with the idea of him and this perfect relationship that we could potentially have.

2.The relationship made me realise my self worth and to eliminate the toxic people out of my life and to instead, value and cherish those who genuinely care and love me.

3.It made me understand that you can never change someone unless they themselves want to be changed.

4.Waiting or fighting for someone else’s love is never worth it and if that is the case, leave them immediately. Love should never be forced.

5.Always communicate in any relationship, don’t ever be scared to communicate your wants and ask what they want.

6.Being the first one to leave does not mean that you’re weak; it means you know your worth and you know what you deserve.

I think most of all; the relationship taught me what a toxic relationship looks like and how I never want to be in a relationship like that ever again. Though, I have never regretted any relationship and I am always grateful for all the people that come into my life, because I honestly believe that everyone serves a role in your life. Either to teach you a lesson or to be taught a lesson.

So try and think of everything in a positive light, because everything you experience definitely happens for a reason. Sometimes we just have to reflect on them and to see them in a different light.

Loving yourself first, before you can love someone else.

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We often hear the phrase ‘you have to learn to love yourself in order to love someone else’.

From a young age, I always wondered what this meant. I was so naïve growing up, that I would question things like, ‘why wouldn’t you love yourself though?’

It was not until I had my first heartbreak that I fully understood what this meant. I started to blame myself for everything and somehow convinced myself that I was not worthy of love. I realised the importance of loving yourself because you simply cannot offer someone else love if you have not loved yourself first. Eventually I came to the realisation that, if you, yourself does not believe that you are worthy of love. Then maybe you’re not, because no one will love someone who thinks that they cannot be loved. It is quite simple if you think of it in that sense.

Loving yourself goes beyond simply ‘treating yourself’ through pampering and materialistic wants, instead, it is how you decide to treat yourself mentally and physically. Mentally, I had to remind myself that there are 7 billion people in this world and not everyone is going to love you, which is reality. But, the least you can do is simply love yourself, because you are unique, because you are different, because you have a heart that has not given up on you and so why should you give up on loving yourself? There are literally so many reasons as to why you should love yourself, yet, why do people forget this?
Physically, i had to realise that my health is in my own hands and that i owe myself a healthy and active lifestyle because the only reason that i am able to breathe and walk everyday is because my body loves me and believes that i am worthy of feeling alive. Hence, it is little things like getting up each morning, eating a healthy breakfast, going for a jog and smiling everyday that makes the biggest difference. That is what i call loving yourself, because you realised that you are worthy of smiling and that you are worthy of living. Eventually, you will realise that you have an abundance of love in your life that was there all along.

In this life, we are only given this one body and this one heart with this one mind. If we choose to hate ourselves, then that’s a life full of hate. But, if we choose to love ourselves, then that’s a life full of love. Then why choose to hate? Why choose to be upset if we can choose to be happy?

In this life, lets all be a little selfish and choose to be happy and love ourselves unconditionally… because that’s definitely my plan.

Lets be honest, no one has his or her life together.

IMG_5686Lets be honest, no one has his or her life together.

Throughout my teenage years, one common phrase that I always heard was ‘I really need to get my life together’ or simply ‘I need to get my shit together’. Its quite funny how this phrase eventually became a catch phrase for myself, at any moment that I thought my life wasn’t ‘perfect’ I would think to myself ‘ok, I really need to get my life together’. But what happened was, one day I was on my way to work on the train. I remember I was thinking about how terrible my life was, because I was not sure what I wanted to do for my career, was unsure of who my close friends was, was living a life where everyday was so repetitive and boring and was in a toxic relationship that held no meaning. Then something hit me, it was like a sudden hit of realisation. Yes, my life was a mess…and you know what, not much has changed since then. But what changed was my mindset, I no longer think to myself that ‘I have to get my shit together’ or ‘I need to get my life together’. Why? Because I finally figured that no one has their life together because who knows what that even is? Who can truly say that their life is perfect, I mean, surely we all have moments where we think our lives are perfect. But how long does that last? I can confidently say, not a lifetime. Because, that’s life, life comes with ups and downs and life is a constant journey of figuring out your shit and trying to get your ‘life together’. I mean, without that, what would life be? Without all the ‘struggles’ and ‘getting my life together moments’ how would we truly appreciate and cherish the better times in life?

Personally, I believe in timing more than anything. I think there is definitely a time and place for everything and that everyone has a different life, hence, things all happen at different times. I was reading this quote online one day and it really enlightened me and allowed me to feel more at ease with everything that was going on in my life. The quote wrote

‘You’re not behind in life. There’s no schedule or timetable that we all must follow. It’s all made up. Wherever you are right now is exactly where you need to be. Seven billion people can’t do everything in exactly the same scheduled order’. Read this and re read it until it is embedded in your mind because in todays era, most people forget this and become upset or frustrated because certain things are happening to others and not them.

I completely understand that living in this day and age, it is so hard to try and ignore all these ‘societal expectations’ because everyone on social media seems to be living the ‘perfect life’ and when you look at yourself you wonder why your not like them. But one thing you have to remember is that, you can never truly have your life together and life will never be perfect. It will only be truly perfect when you stop focusing on it and living each day in the present and moment. Realising that what is meant to be, will come at the right time and right place. Be patient, smile a little more and keep being you.

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