Why him? And what he taught me

Why him?

With so many guys out there, why him though?, Why does it have to be the guy that makes you feel insecure, why does it have to be the guy who makes you question your worth? Why does it have to be the guy who makes you stay up all night waiting for a text or call? Why did you choose this guy over the guy who actually cared about you and made you feel safe? Why can you think logically with everything but not when it comes to him?

This is something that I have struggled with one too many times and the only answer that I have managed to come up with is the fact that the heart is not controlled by our minds. I can keep telling myself a million times that he is not the one for me and that he does not deserve my love, yet, my heart still hurts when I imagine him with another girl.

So what did I do about this?

Personally, I am a big believer of the universe sending signals and living with the idea that everything happens for a reason. Instead of wasting my time on a guy and asking all the ‘why him’ questions, I think of all the things that he and the relationship was able to teach me. The relationship at the time was extremely toxic, the guy would only come into my life when he needed me and did not want to put any effort or commitment into the relationship. It would always be me who would be putting more effort into the relationship and I would always be left questioning what we are. I was so fed up that one day I decided that enough was enough. Thinking about it now, I have no idea what I was doing and why I didn’t leave him straight away. But instead of thinking about it in a negative way, I tried to use this experience as a valuable life lesson.

1.The relationship taught me that I was never in love with the person and instead, I was in love with the idea of him and this perfect relationship that we could potentially have.

2.The relationship made me realise my self worth and to eliminate the toxic people out of my life and to instead, value and cherish those who genuinely care and love me.

3.It made me understand that you can never change someone unless they themselves want to be changed.

4.Waiting or fighting for someone else’s love is never worth it and if that is the case, leave them immediately. Love should never be forced.

5.Always communicate in any relationship, don’t ever be scared to communicate your wants and ask what they want.

6.Being the first one to leave does not mean that you’re weak; it means you know your worth and you know what you deserve.

I think most of all; the relationship taught me what a toxic relationship looks like and how I never want to be in a relationship like that ever again. Though, I have never regretted any relationship and I am always grateful for all the people that come into my life, because I honestly believe that everyone serves a role in your life. Either to teach you a lesson or to be taught a lesson.

So try and think of everything in a positive light, because everything you experience definitely happens for a reason. Sometimes we just have to reflect on them and to see them in a different light.

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