My heart hurts

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Have you ever felt that feeling in your heart, as if you got stabbed with a knife a million times, it’s a sharp and piercing feeling, a feeling that you just can’t comprehend with words alone.

It hurts, my heart hurts, once again, I let my wall down and you managed to break my fragile heart. You not only broke my heart, but you also betrayed me. I cried, I screamed and I blamed the universe for always letting me fall into the same place again. But deep inside, I know it’s my fault. It’s my fault for never letting you go, it’s my fault for knowing my worth yet letting you treat me like I was worthless, it was my fault for constantly being scared to lose you. But in the end, I still lost you. I just don’t understand how someone can treat another human being like that, how could you treat me like I was nothing when all I wanted to be was your everything.

I think the worse part of all is that I held onto this ‘hope’ for so long, this hope that you would become better, this hope that maybe everything could work out and this hope that you loved me. You played with my mind and you knew what you were doing the whole time. I hate you for that, I really do, but I hate myself more for even feeling anything for you. You don’t deserve my tears and you definitely don’t deserve my heart.

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