The real meaning of change

Change can be a scary thing, especially when you are so comfortable and used to what you do or have. But change is the only thing that will let you grow and bring out the real meaning of life. Without change, you will be stagnated. Without change, that dream that you keep in the back of your mind will only ever be a dream. Without change, you will feel safe but you will not be satisfied. Without change, you will not be able to change your current self or your current life.

Change is a terrifying thing for many people, but it is the catalyst to new beginnings, new opportunities and to potentially satisfying your ultimate dream life. So don’t fear change, step out of your comfort zone and get comfortable with change.

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Fear is holding you back in life

I don’t think people realise how much their fears are holding them back. I mean, neither did I. But if you think about it, most of the things that you wish you did but you didn’t do is most likely because you were scared. You were scared that it wouldn’t turn out right, you were afraid that if you tried you might end up in a position that is worst than where you are right now.

I get it, I totally get it. For the longest time, I’ve settled for less because I was scared I wouldn’t meet someone better, I was scared that I wouldn’t get a better job and I was scared that people would think differently of me if I were to do what I wanted to. But do you know where that lead me? one thing is, it definitely didn’t lead me to happiness. Instead, it lead me to a life where I kept questioning ‘what if?’ and ‘if only’. These are questions that arise because you regret the things you didn’t do when you could of and the main culprit of this all is because of this feeling of being scared and afraid.

I’m telling you this now because it has honestly changed my life for the better. Don’t ever be scared to do what you want, if it means that much to you then do it. Do it without any hesitation and don’t ever let the feeling of ‘fear’ go anywhere near you. Why? because life is simply too short to regret anything you could’ve done. What’s the harm in failing anyway? Sure, you will be disappointed and upset. But we all fail in life and most of the time we end up better after we fail. This silly thing called ‘fear’ is just holding you back from you potentially achieving anything in life. Just let it go and see where it takes you.

When there is a low, there is always a high

Have you ever felt like everything that could possibly go wrong in life is going wrong? Or it feels like your life is slowly crumbling down on you? We’ll I’ve had this feeling plenty of times and from that I’ve learnt three things.

Firstly, with every low there is almost a guarantee high. If you honestly think that everything is going wrong, then what else could possibly happen? It can only get better from here. So instead of dwelling on what is wrong, focus on how things are going to turn right and observe how things slowly change. You will realise that feeling of ‘low’ will eventually shift in direction.

Secondly, take every low as an opportunity for change. You are feeling this ‘low’ because you don’t like where you are. In fact, you hate it. Then you must change what you are doing, you must do something that you normally don’t. If you want to change the person you are, then you need to be willing to do something you don’t usually do. Step out of your comfort zone, work on yourself and make a positive change. It won’t be easy, but it will bring a change to your life and I promise you it will be worth it.

Lastly, feeling ‘low’ is something that everyone feels in their life. But take it as the universe telling you to move, to change, to improve and to become a better you. If you don’t feel this low, then you will never understand how good a ‘high’ feels. But in order to feel that, you must constantly work on yourself, evaluate why you’re feeling this way and try your best to eliminate anything that causes it.

A ‘low’ is sometimes a blessing in disguise, you just don’t know it yet.

Work on yourself and that’s all you need to do

From all the lows that I have experienced, my final advice and lesson that I have learn’t is to simply never stop working on yourself. In fact, all you should be focusing on every single minute of the day is working on yourself. No body else in this world is going to love or care about you, more than yourself. Even the person who swore that they would do anything for you, most likely wouldn’t. In the end, you are the one who will have the best interest in yourself. So do yourself a favour and never stop working on yourself, for yourself.

What does this mean? It means figuring out what you really want in life, it means writing it down and figuring out a plan to attain it. Once you start to work on yourself and improve who you are, things somehow start falling into place. People will start realising your worth and they will rise to your expectations. Why? because you have set out an example of what you want in others. There is an old saying, ‘you are who you will attract’ and I honestly believe in that completely. If you consciously make an effort to improve yourself and to work hard everyday towards your goals, you will attract likeminded people. Vice versa. You will stop settling for less because you have simply realised your worth.

So no matter what happens in life, no matter if you’re unhappy or happy with yourself. Just keep working on yourself and view it as something that you need to do in order to breathe. In order to succeed in life.

The moment you let yourself express your emotions is the moment you gain happiness and clarity.

I’ve never been the type of person to express all my emotions and feelings. I’ve never been the type of person to cry in front of someone or to let my vulnerable side to show. I guess I always wanted to show the best side of me and to let everyone think that I had it all, that my life was perfect. But, I think the fact that I tried so hard to keep everything together made it worse. It made me feel trapped, it made me feel alone and it made me unhappy. I never understood how it felt to feel free, to feel alive and to allow myself to feel vulnerable. But this time, I let myself go. I let myself feel all the emotions and feelings that came after a heartbreak. This time, I let myself hurt and I let myself cry and I let myself to be vulnerable in front of everyone. I openly expressed my feelings to those who are close to me and I openly allowed myself to feel hurt and to admit that I was not ok.

It was the best decision that i’ve ever made. Sure, I was hurt and I did cry a lot and I did scream and blame the world for putting me into this place again. But it was different, I felt a sense of relief afterwards. I felt alive and I felt as if this was an opportunity for me to finally let go of everything and to heal for once and for all. To allow myself to be truly happy and to stop being alone, to stop blaming others for the loneliness that I felt in the past because I know all along it was my fault. I made myself to be lonely, I was the only to shut people out because I couldn’t bare the fact of anyone seeing me vulnerable. But I love it now, I love how there are people who are genuinely there for me when I am vulnerable and it makes me realise how truly blessed I am. It makes me realise that being vulnerable and needing help from those who you love is truly living. To let yourself feel so much and to allow yourself to express what you feel is honestly one of the most purest forms of living. So don’t be afraid of expressing your emotions and your deepest fear, because I promise you, the only way you are ever going to be happy is to let yourself to express freely.

I’m a beautiful mess.

IMG_1431I’m a mess, I’m a complete mess, but I’m a beautiful mess. I know my flaws and I know my weaknesses, I know that I will never be perfect and I know that life isn’t supposed to be perfect. I know that not everyone will like me for who I am and that those who I love may not love me back. I know that I can be too harsh on others and I know that all my problems in my life are mainly caused by my own thoughts and by overthinking. In other words, I have created myself into a mess.

But you know what?

That’s life and I have gotten to appreciate the fact that I am a mess. I used to think of the term ‘mess’ in a negative light, I always thought of it as a flaw and I always tried to find an excuse as to why I am always in a mess. But as I learned more about myself, I started to realise that this ‘mess’ that I refer to is not a bad thing, in fact, it is who I am. I am a beautiful mess because I know that the mess that I am in is exactly defining who I am, without all this mess, I would not be me. This mess is what makes me stronger, it is what shapes me as a person and it is what I have come to realise as being the real value of life.

Every single day that goes by is a day gone.

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Everyday I have to remind myself that I only have this one life to live, so what am I going to do with it?

Growing up, I’ve always envisioned myself living an extraordinary life, a life that is not mundane and a life that is fulfilling. A life in which I can look back and say, ‘I really lived my life to the fullest potential and I do not regret anything about it’.

Everyday that goes by is a day gone, it is a day that you will never have again, it is a day that will be considered the past and whether you do something extraordinary or not, it is still a day gone. I have to constantly remind myself that today is the youngest that I will ever be and that if I want something, then today is the day to do it or to work towards it. Don’t say that ‘I’ll start tomorrow’ or that ‘I’ll start soon’, do it now, go get it now, because the ‘now’ is the only thing that you have at this present moment. One massive thing that I’ve learnt in my life is that time is way too precious and valuable for you to simple watch it pass away.

The main difference to those who succeed in life compared to those who don’t, is that those who succeed are constantly living in the present, they are focusing on what they can do in the present and are actively working towards something every single minute of their life. Why? Because they realise how important living each day is and how the creation of ones life is simple based on the decisions that the individual decides to do each day. It is how one handles the precious time that they are given and how they maximise that time by living to their fullest potential.

I am in the process of figuring out how to achieve this extraordinary life that I desire, I know it won’t be easy and life isn’t meant to be easy. But the least we can do is try, because if I try then at least I can say to myself in the future that I don’t regret anything and that I lived my life to its fullest.

In your life, what is success to you?

IMG_1411 What is success to me?
Success to me is waking up everyday feeling nothing but genuine happiness. The feeling of when I just can’t stop laughing and smiling for no apparent reason other than, my life is so amazing.

How am I going to achieve that though?
That leads me to the question of what makes me genuinely happy. Happiness for me is living a life where I am surrounded be genuine friends who provide me with great company and laughter, it means having a partner who is loyal, giving, grateful and loves me unconditionally in which I love unconditionally back. It means knowing that my family is happy and healthy, it means having the ability to spoil my family and friends because I know that they deserve it. It means having a stable job that I am passionate about and can truly say that ‘I love my job’. That to me is called a successful and happy life. I know many people would mention things like traveling the world, owning a nice car and house, having a million dollars etc.. of course those would be nice to have in life, but to me, that would be considered a bonus. Those are the ‘wants’ in my life, but are definitely not considered as my ‘necessities’ in my success.

In order to achieve success, you must understand that you are the creator of your life and therefore, everything starts with you. It starts with how you think, how badly you want something and how you are going to act upon that thought. In my opinion, I believe that life is a combination of thoughts, actions and fate. For instance, if you keep thinking of wanting to become richer in terms of money, but you don’t want to work or do anything that could possibly made you money, then how is it possible for you to become richer?

Thoughts, actions and fate all work together to create the ultimate success.

So what would you describe success as?

Why him? And what he taught me

Why him?

With so many guys out there, why him though?, Why does it have to be the guy that makes you feel insecure, why does it have to be the guy who makes you question your worth? Why does it have to be the guy who makes you stay up all night waiting for a text or call? Why did you choose this guy over the guy who actually cared about you and made you feel safe? Why can you think logically with everything but not when it comes to him?

This is something that I have struggled with one too many times and the only answer that I have managed to come up with is the fact that the heart is not controlled by our minds. I can keep telling myself a million times that he is not the one for me and that he does not deserve my love, yet, my heart still hurts when I imagine him with another girl.

So what did I do about this?

Personally, I am a big believer of the universe sending signals and living with the idea that everything happens for a reason. Instead of wasting my time on a guy and asking all the ‘why him’ questions, I think of all the things that he and the relationship was able to teach me. The relationship at the time was extremely toxic, the guy would only come into my life when he needed me and did not want to put any effort or commitment into the relationship. It would always be me who would be putting more effort into the relationship and I would always be left questioning what we are. I was so fed up that one day I decided that enough was enough. Thinking about it now, I have no idea what I was doing and why I didn’t leave him straight away. But instead of thinking about it in a negative way, I tried to use this experience as a valuable life lesson.

1.The relationship taught me that I was never in love with the person and instead, I was in love with the idea of him and this perfect relationship that we could potentially have.

2.The relationship made me realise my self worth and to eliminate the toxic people out of my life and to instead, value and cherish those who genuinely care and love me.

3.It made me understand that you can never change someone unless they themselves want to be changed.

4.Waiting or fighting for someone else’s love is never worth it and if that is the case, leave them immediately. Love should never be forced.

5.Always communicate in any relationship, don’t ever be scared to communicate your wants and ask what they want.

6.Being the first one to leave does not mean that you’re weak; it means you know your worth and you know what you deserve.

I think most of all; the relationship taught me what a toxic relationship looks like and how I never want to be in a relationship like that ever again. Though, I have never regretted any relationship and I am always grateful for all the people that come into my life, because I honestly believe that everyone serves a role in your life. Either to teach you a lesson or to be taught a lesson.

So try and think of everything in a positive light, because everything you experience definitely happens for a reason. Sometimes we just have to reflect on them and to see them in a different light.

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