I’m a beautiful mess.

IMG_1431I’m a mess, I’m a complete mess, but I’m a beautiful mess. I know my flaws and I know my weaknesses, I know that I will never be perfect and I know that life isn’t supposed to be perfect. I know that not everyone will like me for who I am and that those who I love may not love me back. I know that I can be too harsh on others and I know that all my problems in my life are mainly caused by my own thoughts and by overthinking. In other words, I have created myself into a mess.

But you know what?

That’s life and I have gotten to appreciate the fact that I am a mess. I used to think of the term ‘mess’ in a negative light, I always thought of it as a flaw and I always tried to find an excuse as to why I am always in a mess. But as I learned more about myself, I started to realise that this ‘mess’ that I refer to is not a bad thing, in fact, it is who I am. I am a beautiful mess because I know that the mess that I am in is exactly defining who I am, without all this mess, I would not be me. This mess is what makes me stronger, it is what shapes me as a person and it is what I have come to realise as being the real value of life.

Every single day that goes by is a day gone.

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Everyday I have to remind myself that I only have this one life to live, so what am I going to do with it?

Growing up, I’ve always envisioned myself living an extraordinary life, a life that is not mundane and a life that is fulfilling. A life in which I can look back and say, ‘I really lived my life to the fullest potential and I do not regret anything about it’.

Everyday that goes by is a day gone, it is a day that you will never have again, it is a day that will be considered the past and whether you do something extraordinary or not, it is still a day gone. I have to constantly remind myself that today is the youngest that I will ever be and that if I want something, then today is the day to do it or to work towards it. Don’t say that ‘I’ll start tomorrow’ or that ‘I’ll start soon’, do it now, go get it now, because the ‘now’ is the only thing that you have at this present moment. One massive thing that I’ve learnt in my life is that time is way too precious and valuable for you to simple watch it pass away.

The main difference to those who succeed in life compared to those who don’t, is that those who succeed are constantly living in the present, they are focusing on what they can do in the present and are actively working towards something every single minute of their life. Why? Because they realise how important living each day is and how the creation of ones life is simple based on the decisions that the individual decides to do each day. It is how one handles the precious time that they are given and how they maximise that time by living to their fullest potential.

I am in the process of figuring out how to achieve this extraordinary life that I desire, I know it won’t be easy and life isn’t meant to be easy. But the least we can do is try, because if I try then at least I can say to myself in the future that I don’t regret anything and that I lived my life to its fullest.

In your life, what is success to you?

IMG_1411 What is success to me?
Success to me is waking up everyday feeling nothing but genuine happiness. The feeling of when I just can’t stop laughing and smiling for no apparent reason other than, my life is so amazing.

How am I going to achieve that though?
That leads me to the question of what makes me genuinely happy. Happiness for me is living a life where I am surrounded be genuine friends who provide me with great company and laughter, it means having a partner who is loyal, giving, grateful and loves me unconditionally in which I love unconditionally back. It means knowing that my family is happy and healthy, it means having the ability to spoil my family and friends because I know that they deserve it. It means having a stable job that I am passionate about and can truly say that ‘I love my job’. That to me is called a successful and happy life. I know many people would mention things like traveling the world, owning a nice car and house, having a million dollars etc.. of course those would be nice to have in life, but to me, that would be considered a bonus. Those are the ‘wants’ in my life, but are definitely not considered as my ‘necessities’ in my success.

In order to achieve success, you must understand that you are the creator of your life and therefore, everything starts with you. It starts with how you think, how badly you want something and how you are going to act upon that thought. In my opinion, I believe that life is a combination of thoughts, actions and fate. For instance, if you keep thinking of wanting to become richer in terms of money, but you don’t want to work or do anything that could possibly made you money, then how is it possible for you to become richer?

Thoughts, actions and fate all work together to create the ultimate success.

So what would you describe success as?

Why him? And what he taught me

Why him?

With so many guys out there, why him though?, Why does it have to be the guy that makes you feel insecure, why does it have to be the guy who makes you question your worth? Why does it have to be the guy who makes you stay up all night waiting for a text or call? Why did you choose this guy over the guy who actually cared about you and made you feel safe? Why can you think logically with everything but not when it comes to him?

This is something that I have struggled with one too many times and the only answer that I have managed to come up with is the fact that the heart is not controlled by our minds. I can keep telling myself a million times that he is not the one for me and that he does not deserve my love, yet, my heart still hurts when I imagine him with another girl.

So what did I do about this?

Personally, I am a big believer of the universe sending signals and living with the idea that everything happens for a reason. Instead of wasting my time on a guy and asking all the ‘why him’ questions, I think of all the things that he and the relationship was able to teach me. The relationship at the time was extremely toxic, the guy would only come into my life when he needed me and did not want to put any effort or commitment into the relationship. It would always be me who would be putting more effort into the relationship and I would always be left questioning what we are. I was so fed up that one day I decided that enough was enough. Thinking about it now, I have no idea what I was doing and why I didn’t leave him straight away. But instead of thinking about it in a negative way, I tried to use this experience as a valuable life lesson.

1.The relationship taught me that I was never in love with the person and instead, I was in love with the idea of him and this perfect relationship that we could potentially have.

2.The relationship made me realise my self worth and to eliminate the toxic people out of my life and to instead, value and cherish those who genuinely care and love me.

3.It made me understand that you can never change someone unless they themselves want to be changed.

4.Waiting or fighting for someone else’s love is never worth it and if that is the case, leave them immediately. Love should never be forced.

5.Always communicate in any relationship, don’t ever be scared to communicate your wants and ask what they want.

6.Being the first one to leave does not mean that you’re weak; it means you know your worth and you know what you deserve.

I think most of all; the relationship taught me what a toxic relationship looks like and how I never want to be in a relationship like that ever again. Though, I have never regretted any relationship and I am always grateful for all the people that come into my life, because I honestly believe that everyone serves a role in your life. Either to teach you a lesson or to be taught a lesson.

So try and think of everything in a positive light, because everything you experience definitely happens for a reason. Sometimes we just have to reflect on them and to see them in a different light.

Loving yourself first, before you can love someone else.

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We often hear the phrase ‘you have to learn to love yourself in order to love someone else’.

From a young age, I always wondered what this meant. I was so naïve growing up, that I would question things like, ‘why wouldn’t you love yourself though?’

It was not until I had my first heartbreak that I fully understood what this meant. I started to blame myself for everything and somehow convinced myself that I was not worthy of love. I realised the importance of loving yourself because you simply cannot offer someone else love if you have not loved yourself first. Eventually I came to the realisation that, if you, yourself does not believe that you are worthy of love. Then maybe you’re not, because no one will love someone who thinks that they cannot be loved. It is quite simple if you think of it in that sense.

Loving yourself goes beyond simply ‘treating yourself’ through pampering and materialistic wants, instead, it is how you decide to treat yourself mentally and physically. Mentally, I had to remind myself that there are 7 billion people in this world and not everyone is going to love you, which is reality. But, the least you can do is simply love yourself, because you are unique, because you are different, because you have a heart that has not given up on you and so why should you give up on loving yourself? There are literally so many reasons as to why you should love yourself, yet, why do people forget this?
Physically, i had to realise that my health is in my own hands and that i owe myself a healthy and active lifestyle because the only reason that i am able to breathe and walk everyday is because my body loves me and believes that i am worthy of feeling alive. Hence, it is little things like getting up each morning, eating a healthy breakfast, going for a jog and smiling everyday that makes the biggest difference. That is what i call loving yourself, because you realised that you are worthy of smiling and that you are worthy of living. Eventually, you will realise that you have an abundance of love in your life that was there all along.

In this life, we are only given this one body and this one heart with this one mind. If we choose to hate ourselves, then that’s a life full of hate. But, if we choose to love ourselves, then that’s a life full of love. Then why choose to hate? Why choose to be upset if we can choose to be happy?

In this life, lets all be a little selfish and choose to be happy and love ourselves unconditionally… because that’s definitely my plan.