All the pain comes rushing back

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Have you ever let someone go while still being madly in love with them?

I have and I can tell you that you will never forget the feeling that it came with.

Even though you knew it was the right thing to do, it still hurts.

At the moment you decide to separate from them, you will feel this pain in your heart that you’ve never felt before.

The heart feels as if its slowly dying, as if it’s been stabbed by a knife hundreds of times

Your life feels like its shattered into pieces

You feel like you have lost all that’s inside of you

and the worst part is

even years after trying to forget them, even when you think you have forgotten them.. all it takes is a glimpse of their face again and everything including all the memories and pain that they have left with you all comes rushing back. Every pain that you have tried so hard to cover up all comes creeping back to torture you, even worse, this time it hurts even more. It hurts because you realise that you are still madly in love with them, yet they’ve moved on with someone else.

 

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Look within yourself

The warmth I needed was always there

Not buried within anyone

Not given by anything

But deep within myself

How easy it is to lose oneself

In this busy world

But how easy is it to find comfort in yourself

All you need is to take some time to feel it

Don’t remind me

Don’t remind me of how your smile could brighten my day

Don’t remind me of how your bed sheets smelt and how your eyes were the reason why I lost myself

Instead, remind me of how much my heart hurt when you left without a sound.

Remind me of why I couldn’t stay any longer

Remind me of why I deserve more

Remind me that this empty space is reserved for someone who doesn’t remind me of you.

I will do better than you.

Love yourself

Love yourself because you are beautiful

Love yourself because no one told you to

Love yourself because it is all that you have

Love yourself because there is too much hate in this world

Love yourself until your heart flutters with all the love that you have given to it

Whatever you do, just remember to love yourself

She is flourishing

She has changed

She is awake now

She feels more now

She is exploring cities that she has never seen before

She is trying new things that she’s never thought of before

She is appreciating all the little things in life

She is blossoming

She is still finding her place on this earth

But, she is living.

Sick of this fake love

I’m sick of all the small talk

And the nights spent wasting on someone who doesn’t stay.

I’m sick of all the promises

And how they are always made by those who lie.

I’m sick of dealing with other’s problems

And how they never cared about mine.

I’m sick of always being the strong one

And how hard it can be sometimes.

But most of all, I’m sick of all this fake love

And now it’s time to move on to something real.

Sitting under the stars

I’m sitting under the stars alone

I get this feeling in my heart,

Tears just want to run down my face

I let them run down and the worst thing is I don’t even know why I get this feeling inside of me

Then suddenly I look at the stars again and I realise how small I am and maybe that’s why it hurts.

I feel alive again

Her hearts been shattered a million times

And she’s cried herself to bed one too many times.

Her room is full, yet she feels empty.

Her energy is low, yet she still breathes.

She knows giving up is the easy way out.

Yet she knows her life is not destined for regret

and this sudden storm awakes her from her fear.

She gets up.

She breathes.

And for the first time in her life, she feels alive.

She is breathing, her heart is pumping and she fears nothing.

This is her life and she wrote it herself.

Imagine living your dream

We all have dreams and goals, as little as they can be, we all have them. However, the name can be misleading and often scare us from accomplishing them. A dream seems unrealistic, it’s called a dream because it happens in our sleep and not in real life when we are awake. But just imagine not ever being able to live your dream, isn’t that more scary? so why not give it a try?

I’ve always had a dream to be someone who is not working an ordinary 9-5 job, someone who can travel and explore the world without feeling guilty. Someone who is much more than who I am right now. But I’ve always said it’s my ‘dream’ my life ‘goal’, something that I most likely won’t attain.

But why not? If I can dream it, if I want it that badly, then I believe that I can achieve it. So this year I’ve decided to change my words into actions, to make baby steps each day that will eventually lead me to my ‘dream life’. I mean, the least you can do is say that you’ve tried. Don’t let fear get in your way and don’t ever let yourself feel regret in the future.

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